The Harmfulness of Defensive Rebuttals

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In "Life is Short," Paul Graham warns that when we are challenged online, we instinctively feel "attacked" and try to defend ourselves, but fighting back is a waste of time and allows the other person to take a part of our lives. The actual text follows.

“When someone contradicts you, they’re in a sense attacking you… Your instinct when attacked is to defend yourself. But like a lot of instincts, this one wasn’t designed for the world we now live in. Counter-intuitive as it feels, it’s better most of the time not to defend yourself. Otherwise these people are literally taking your life.”

As this quoted passage indicates, the harmfulness of the act of "defensively" refuting what one sees as an "attack" is clearly discussed in the same essay.

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